When I was a junior in high school I would throw the football almost everyday with a friend who was such a good receiver that we called Hans Flakes! Hans and I would throw everyday! I know that kind of makes us losers but we didn't care. I remember one day in particular in which we were throwing in the church gym/ youth room and a guy named Max who was 3 years younger came in and was making fun of me and I was like Max "I am about to throw this football at you as hard as I can if you don't stop" but Max being the funny Harry Potter look-a-like he was he was keep egging me on so I threw the ball and he ran out of the room so I ran and got the ball in anticipation of him coming back in the gym and my anticipation was correct. Moments later Max ran back in the gym and as he ran in I threw the ball as hard as I could from across the gym (40 yards or so) and hit him square in the "boys" the ball hit him so hard that he flew backwards and hit the ground crying and laughing all at the same time. For that moment in life in the entrance of the gym/ youth room the three of us thought we had witnessed and caused the funniest thing ever. The stories that involve Max Durham are always funny ones there is never a dull one. Now fast forward 2 years later to the date of April 14, 2005. The date is one in which many people will for ever remember. At around 12:30pm I got a call from my boss/ mentor. His voice was shaky and you could hear the tears! I ask Bret what's up? His response was "I haven't called anyone yet and wanted to let you know to be at the church early tonight (I was a senior high intern at the time) because there are some big things that have happened" so in response to that I said Bret seriously what's up? "Max is dead, his dad came home after church and found him, he has committed suicide" At that moment a sense of shock and disbelief hit my like a semi. My emotions weren't one of tears but yet they were one of dismay. I went directly to church and sat and pondered. My thoughts were scattered. They were questions like: Why would anyone ever think to do that? Does Max go to Heaven? What was the reason? How's his family? Why GOD!?
Only in our own personal minds can we justify what we justify in our lives. For Max he had justified the action of suicide. We are not sure why. We don't know how it happens. We now know that his family and friends will forever be changed and that you just have to press on. But you never have to forget the good times. You don't have let his memory fade. For me after I processed my thoughts I walk into our youth room by this time it was 4:30pm and as I walked in to that room I took three steps in and started to cry a river, tears were streaming down my face. The tears were in the very spot in which I hit Max in the balls 2 years earlier. My mind went to that thought of how the three of us that day thought we had hung the moon, how our thoughts were full of laughter because we thought we had done the funniest thing ever. When I remember Max Durham I think of those kinds of Max stories.
We have all had tragedy in our lives. We have all felt abandoned. We have all felt insecure. We have all felt completely clueless. We have all found ourselves asking God why? Those questions at times are healthy and good questions to ask. For me I believe whole heartily that Max is now in heaven looking down. That moment at which he asked the Lord as his Savior marked a new life. It didn't mark a perfect life; it didn't mark a easy life. It marked the day a relationship with the mighty Savior began. Though your hard days might not be full of suicide and death, they may be full of divorce, break-ups, moral failures, loss of friendships, I am not sure what your hard days look like only you know what made those days that will stand out forever. May you come to find restoration in Christ may you never forget the good, may you remember you mean something, may you live!
Only in our own personal minds can we justify what we justify in our lives. For Max he had justified the action of suicide. We are not sure why. We don't know how it happens. We now know that his family and friends will forever be changed and that you just have to press on. But you never have to forget the good times. You don't have let his memory fade. For me after I processed my thoughts I walk into our youth room by this time it was 4:30pm and as I walked in to that room I took three steps in and started to cry a river, tears were streaming down my face. The tears were in the very spot in which I hit Max in the balls 2 years earlier. My mind went to that thought of how the three of us that day thought we had hung the moon, how our thoughts were full of laughter because we thought we had done the funniest thing ever. When I remember Max Durham I think of those kinds of Max stories.
We have all had tragedy in our lives. We have all felt abandoned. We have all felt insecure. We have all felt completely clueless. We have all found ourselves asking God why? Those questions at times are healthy and good questions to ask. For me I believe whole heartily that Max is now in heaven looking down. That moment at which he asked the Lord as his Savior marked a new life. It didn't mark a perfect life; it didn't mark a easy life. It marked the day a relationship with the mighty Savior began. Though your hard days might not be full of suicide and death, they may be full of divorce, break-ups, moral failures, loss of friendships, I am not sure what your hard days look like only you know what made those days that will stand out forever. May you come to find restoration in Christ may you never forget the good, may you remember you mean something, may you live!
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